T'ara Diaries: September 23, 2025

First Internship Mentor Interview with GRAMMY Award-Winning Susan Carol

"Life moves fast when you doing what you want; Atleast I'm doing what I want"-Brent Faiyaz. I'm overwhelmed with pure joy right now, seeing how divinely orchestrated God aligns things when we choose ourselves. I think this chapter is going to be heavy on self trust, faith, and what faith can do. I've never been so sure yet so found in the midst of the unknown. This morning I woke up with the weight of the world of who I was, hearing the narratives of who I used to be, and becoming victim of patterns I no longer follow.

I always know when I say I'm going to do something, it's never a matter of "if", it's just waiting for the when. I love writing so much. I love being a scholar. I love research. I love everything about this chapter I'm in. I am so proud of myself. I have to recognize that what I'm doing is not easy and that although I'm equipped, it doesn't mean it is all for me to carry.

This evening, I feel overwhelmed with joy, and talking with Bryan, Susan, and Cam really uplifted my spirit. And tbh I just had to show up. My meeting with Susan for my internship was something I had to do out of commitment to my goals, and my impromptu call to Bryan came after he texted me this morning because he felt safe to come to me about what he was going through. Both instances poured back into me in ways I didn't know I needed today.

We need a community that is intentional about us, and I'm grateful to be creating mine. Today I woke up sad because I saw myself compromising my future for the sake of feeling loved/valued. For a long time, I didn't feel truly seen, and I used my platforms to fill that gap, and for a minute, I didn't feel as poured into as I was pouring out virtually or in-person. But I kept going. I knew that the work I did had purpose, and I want to thank my community I created for showing me I matter in times when it wasn't so evident to me. I think that's the big piece I'm trying to connect is how God is so evidently hidden in the details. Every aspect of my life to this date has been divinely designed to carry me to the vision I know he has for me.