T'ara Diaries: September 22, 2025

Uh ohhhhhhhhhh, back again. Back to back Maybach stack the M's..RERUN BOUT TO MAKE THESE B* CREATE AGAIN. "Im backkkkkkkkk".

TO FREEEEEEEEEDOM. Lmao, no but really where do I start? *Drake v* what did I miss? This weekend was liberating. I mean this week overall was a blast. Idk why I said blast lmao. but we in here. I'm working on censorship. For so long, I've had to watch how I say things and how they affect others. Worried about my perception through somebody else's perspective. I no longer give a damn. Decentering everyone else's perception and expectations of me will get me to exactly where I need to be. I'm so used to following, or more so being in alignment with the masses or what is deemed as "morally right". Being in an age-gap "relationship" really changed my perspective on doing what I think is right and doing what EYE want. For a while alot of my achievements were in alignment with what society deemed acceptable. The good grades, no kids, it was like I fit the checklist of the "golden child". I never strayed away from the blueprint of what was acceptable in the eyes of others. But I also never fit the mold of who they expected me to be or the social norm of the people who uphold those roles or positions. Im smart but loud, timid spirited but very expressive and passionate. My existence is an oxymoron against the ways im expected to show up. Im learning to show up as my unconditioned self, the version of me that existed before I was told who I was suposed to be. My whole life, I have recieved pushback for being me because being me wasn't socially acceptable to the norms that existed in those times. Now all the things I was criticized for, I'm praised for. Goes to show you the power of evolution. But beliefs change. And that's okay this is everyone's first time experiencing life. Like no one truly knows what they are doing. They just had a strong belief in something, and it so happened to work. That's what faith is. In my previous (unpublished) entry, that was my case point. That faith is just belief. Opinions are beliefs. What you believe can shape your reality. It is the foundation for what you allow or think you're allowed to do. It creates your limitations. In a world where there's so much information, true and false, you have to clear the noise and find out what's true to you. That's how you build self-trust and a life you love. Not by following what's right. But following what feels right to you. I'm in a space of required grace and favor, figuring out my own path. Figuring out what truly matters to me. That process of becoming isn't going to come overnight, but a day at a time. One habit at a time. I got this. I'm in the midst of proving to myself that I know what tf I be talking about. Everything is working together for my good.